Right on time

Feelings?...ughh the word just makes me mad somtimes, this week has been a hard week I have let things distract me, an I can feel my focus has gotten off track some what. Honestly I hate this part of life its like you have a winning streak of this FIRE for God an then all if a sudden the flame is slowly being put out an you see it getting dimmer an dimmer an then sooner or later your right back in the dark where you started. This is where feelings, an emotions, an confusion, an thoughts start pouring in an your asking whats wrong things were just so good why am I standing in the dark alone again God..an then there is this silence for a long time maybe months maybe years but then finally you hear the still small voice ...its not Me its you,...I sit here an think about my 2brothers who are in federal prison, a sister who is admitted in the hospital for depression, another sister who is just so lost , an parents who are struggling day to day to make it ...I lay here crying wishing my life was so much different but this is who I am this is who my family is an this is where I'm supposed to be right now at this current time, I wasn't destined to be anywhere else at this very moment right now is right on time ..